Thursday, October 4, 2012


how to reach it when
beyond is the closest you come
and there was the slightest inkling
a lighter shadow than the last
an indicator of an indication
a drop of blood on the sun

i remember o how i remember
everything ever lived
and how it used to feel to know
tomorrow wouldn't be like
this day because tomorrow
would be a different color
there had not been two of the same
colors in a row
in all of time

and beneath the smoke of the foundry
of my heart
and within the latticework of the scaffolds
of my spine
someone is drinking heavily
but it isn't me anymore
a different blood type

or the color of the moon
ruining itself behind a mountain
and the river flowing up between the clouds
where i saw you drinking
like you had been born thirsty
and i thought
we are born without water
we are born without anything
to keep us alive

i had ideas once

i had ideas once
and i hoped they'd come back to me
thought i could
reel them in
on the hook of what i chose to want
and still want

i had ideas that i could
go anywhere and be anyone
that i could pay for my life with admiration
for what it means to be alive
and then suddenly
as soon as i wished it so
be rid of every earthly obligation
to anyone
or any thing

i thought of myself
purely in those moments
of me only
a subject in photographs
when they were taken
and it all seems to me now
a joke
a farce

that in the moment of being photographed
when the opportunity for remembering 
the former self is created
one has no conception of who will be 
looking back
and how everything will never be
how everything used to be
how terribly sad that is
when all you want to do
is live however living materializes for you
without paying for it
with your life

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

Sell Your Soul for the Super Bowl

Every year companies invest millions in Super Bowl ads with the hope that the Bowl’s wide viewership will give their products a Midas touch. The football game to end all football games (for the season) gives TV networks more viewers on one night than they get for entire seasons of shows. At least 100 million people turned on, tuned in, and ate wings while allowing themselves to be bombarded with one 30 second ad after another. But what are we really getting?
The advertisements are entertaining, or at least they better be at the price of 3 million dollars each. Unfortunately, not all of the ads successfully entertained me, unless shocking me senseless and forcing me to confront the bleak realities of capitalism and consumerism counts as entertainment. 
Eminem was in a Chrysler commercial. Yes, yes he was. I know Chrysler is a Detroit-based company, and there are plenty of people out there who would say he’s just doing it to support his struggling hometown. But is that enough of a rationalization? Can we please see the paycheck Em got for his cameo? It had to have been huge. I guess everyone can sell out to the establishment, even Slim Shady.
There’s more. P. Diddy was in a Mercedes commercial. I could go ahead and cry. Why are our musicians so willing to align themselves with material goods? I guess it’s because so many musicians and pop stars represent luxury goods in their music, which is basically free advertising (think Gucci Mane… his NAME is Gucci) so maybe it’s time they actually got paid to do it. Perhaps it’s another smart business move for Diddy… but whatever happened to Mo’ Money, Mo’ Problems? Now it seems like Mo’ Mercedes, Mo’ Money… Mo’ Money. Period. Seems like the only problem now is not getting mo’ money.
The cast of Glee had a commercial during the Super Bowl and an entire episode after the Super Bowl dedicated to Chevrolet. What happened to aspiring actors, singers, and dancers wanting to star in musicals and make films and write plays and share the experience with a live audience? Why would a high school glee club’s main ambition be to participate in a Chevy commercial? Commercials are for selling things, not for showcasing artistic ability. American culture is so used to conflating money with every kind of success that we can actually have a show about talented young kids who desperately want to help Chevy sell more cars.
This next part is just for Adrien Brody. Dear Adrien, you are an indie movie star. You are so cool and I am your fan. Why did you have to go a do a Stella Artois commercial? Is it really your favorite beer? I know it’s an aristocratic beverage and perhaps you see yourself as a debonair gentleman but please stop trying to sell me on a type of beer just because the Stella executives were willing to pay you enough to do it. 
And now... something especially disturbing. Groupon’s Super Bowl ad (I hate saying the name of the company; more press means more money for them) featured actor Timothy Hutton, who at first seemed to be participating in a tourism ad on behalf of Tibet. 
He began, “The people of Tibet are in trouble, their very culture is in jeopardy…” But then things took a turn for the ethically unsound, “…but they still whip up an amazing fish curry! And since 200 of us bought in on we’re saving on Himalayan food!” Then the ad cuts to a screen that says SAVE THE MONEY and we are all supposed to think that saving money on food in Chicago is better than a real investment in preserving an ancient and geographically distant culture that predates 200 BC.
This commercial has since been played on almost every morning show, which makes me think its obscenity was really a genius advertising ploy to help Groupon reach an even greater audience than its 30 seconds during the Super Bowl. Maybe no press is bad press, but this just feels dirty. 
There’s so much more to be freaked out about. We all expected it from Justin Bieber… but seeing Ozzy Osbourne with him in a Best Buy commercial is just too sad. What happened to the old Ozzy (aside from decades of drug abuse)? Did the anti-establishment mores of Black Sabbath die like the Wicked Witch of the East when a Best Buy dropped from the sky? It looks like the time when artists didn’t have a price and people made music for love instead of money was just a fairy tale.

Friday, February 4, 2011


what matters to the universe
there were reports
of that which is tempura
quietly consensual
a dog with tail in mouth

the moon is a broken condom spilling
luminescence everywhere
it was the way she stepped soundlessly
over the dry leaves
you looked at the painting,
that is why you are sick

more alike than
we understand we are
the illusion of power
is power itself

Friday, November 19, 2010

grew together/-\equivocally up

an insistence 
adjust slowly
adjust Sir Beautiful

the jury decides behind the wall of your choice
your jury derides behind your jury's henchmen
and mine, me looking to you
through an explanation
and the rewards, o those rewards
will meet you halfway, Sir

cretins of continuity
give medicine
in exchange for service;
be the same or be different
it does not matter
for all behavior

an insistence 
adjust slowly
adjust Sir Beautiful

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

will honor your memory to honor memory

and weep, get out of the house
self-possessed total chaos, domination
theory is as theory says it does
determine an indeterminate self

just because something else
commands the trachea
does not mean all hope is lost
or that only fear remains

the theory of the universe
is that in theory there is no universe
imagine experience imagine remember
imagine experience imagine memory --

indeed it was indignity
that caused dear ones dear loss
the great divide divideth wide
and cursed the battle for the cause --

experience magic memory
remember imagined experience
fade far away, dissolve, and quite forget
what thou among the leaves hast never known

crooked pains amass indelibly
dawn bends over the horizon
while night stares up its skirt

talking about "disgusting" weather
wearing too much perfume
your rules the rules
my rules card games

black suit black pants black heels
clacking uncomfortably
underneath the granite slabs, uncultivated farmland
unadorned yet unattended, to be managed plate-by-plate

just a feeling about assumption
to canvass a carcass with experience
not enough hearing and answering
nothing commensurate with "probably pretty likely"

Wednesday, October 13, 2010

j lo

about the pediatrician and
another pregnancy phone call
brands little girls like cattle
until the roof caves in
a cave caving in the books, clothes, bed

the antimaterialist's dream come true
the antimatter coming true becoming you

a margarita in a pricey dive
a margarita in a roadside hideaway
a margarita driveway
Coup de
Cruella de

the period piece
of what exactly
pooling over the plaster
sinking by the second
no drain to move beyond
father fraternity
mother sorority
i am waiting for tonight
to prove my autonomy
with your sister by accident
disillusionment is maturity
the value of one dollar's
worth of


gone on the days when the sun used
to set on my empty hart all alone
in my bed tosing and turn
emotions were strong i knew i had to hold on

intergallactic chat roulette
batteries that die when you do
a thought that needed having