Monday, December 14, 2009

this is not a ticket
i loved the way you said microsoft word
in the beginning was the word and the word was
with god and the word was god

she's throwing something away
and her chest starts bleeding and i'm like, shit
are you okay?

and she's like, yes, i'm fine i just got a shot there
so i walk over and her leg snaps off
and she falls and bleeds out

aw come on i could use a spot of coffee
and you could use a hot chocolate i bet
see if you can, see if you can find a place to stop

Saturday, December 12, 2009

eating a bed of leaves is peaceful
like mowing the lawn on a deserted island
under a light rain that cools
everything down just right
keeping to yourself when you think about birds
the way they fly and then the sky at night
what it would be like to die

being scared of the unknown is just
a phobia of rotary telephones
before caller id nobody knew
who the messenger was
or what they might say
but they picked up anyway and
that's what we're all going to do

friendship seems a baby step that never reaches the ground
never goes forward but if i could hold that instant
not on the ground or above it only the intent to go ahead
into who knows what like some victim of an unlucky accident
you can't prove i planned it all along who will tell me
"you're still ahead in the long run" and "your debts won't leave you bankrupt"
what is justified and what is insane
remember how much you felt for that person that year that close your eyes
and this may as well have happened to someone else
the body i was born in wouldn't have a location if no one could see it
reason diminishes as sight sharpens
i will not be having these charades tonight
eating rats out of a sewage pipe
taking turns to blow the bitch to shreds
your facade is too perfect to hold such savagery
please pull the shades down for your own good and mine
if actions speak i spoke what i stole and
you stake it, then it's spoken
i've seen the show, now can i see myself seeing it as i act
revive the corpses in this cage
or slowly lowly react, scared and squared away
a humbled bumbled synapse

there is no metaphor that lives among us to troubles us enough
but we wrestle with words all the time just to finalize
our claim on the language we're given as if we invented it on our own
i don't know where the words come from some say
they're aliens from outer space but that doesn't say anything

i know what i am made of they're part of it they've entered this
learning english was like a perpetual pop quiz
until i became one of many trying to take ownership
of poetry like piracy
on a pirate ship
what does this say about me

i'm just an artificially intelligent automaton
i could love you, electrically that is
so one day i hope you know
i make myself before you make me, you see the tip of the iceberg
the rest is sleeping, freezing underneath what i've put on
to clarify your preordained accrual of what
encompasses a life that isn't verbal:
a vivid
visual assemblage of

what can't be attached
to the page and so i act
and when i perform it's as much a part of me as it is you
that energy, molting and revolting like a violated taboo
we saw you move now what did it say about you

be an imperialist and colonize a conception
go ahead with your blind-sided, myopic portrait
of what is inevitably imperfect, i'd never distrust what i saw
when i looked inside if i hadn't been taught what to hide

so looking back or looking in is a question of interpretation
the stage is everywhere you see it, and it sees you right back
only when you're up there and we're all inside you
you don't have the choices you used to have, i puppeteer your fortitudes

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

i love you for every way

Monday, December 7, 2009

that didn't happen
just joyce carol oates
all of her names sound like old people
and she had three chances
string theory how am i
not myself how
am i not myself
myself how am i not
anyway when all this school shit is over i'm going to run a bath for us
and it's going to be extended
and there are going to be lavender scented
and there will be truffles
surrounding the tub and vanilla candles
and i will pour you a glass
of deep burgundy
and drink to our resilience, see
or this weekend w/e
the candles around the edge will be
put out by our sloshing splashing
each other playfully nude
but for our wetsuits we'll shampoo
one another and put dried rhododendrons on each other's lips
oh my god the soundtrack

Sunday, December 6, 2009

what i want to give you
it doesn't have a name
don't know what to call it
don't know what it is
i see it when i see you
that's all i can tell
want to rename everything
to sound like Emanuel
who has not said "this too shall pass" and
"you'll be alright, so long as you believe that" but
it's the passing that kills us,
not what's being passed,
and there's the lasting effect
that nothing can outlast

if i could you would have
been sewn up, perfectly shut
with the needle and the thread
a repair
cross-stitched, a spare heart and a prayer
a closer match and a place to share ourselves
a safety latch and the strength to bear ourselves

dead coming
i can't resussitate you
mouth-to-mouth for months
still can't save you
want to build in the

blank but can't get a grip
the more i lean into it the more my body
then i'm
falling and
the ground
i stay there
inside you
until i rebound

always sad to see one go even if you didn't know him for long

or they didn't work out
or we shared a clementine
or you were a very good girl today
or the rumors took all night
or how deep is the young lady
or what time did it start
or where are your thoughts
or i heard you play before
or who does it happen to
or when did she show
or they didn't
or we shared
or you were
or the rumors
or how deep
or what time
or where are
or i heard
or who does
or when did
or they
or we
or you
or the
or how
or what
or where
or i
or who
or when
or we
or you
or th
or w
or yo
or t
or ho
or w
or wh