Thursday, November 20, 2008

A Young Boy

“Weeehhhh it's so hard to be a freshman! I smoked weed for the first time but that isn't like who I AM you know? WHAT DOES IT ALL MEAN??? I know I don't participate in class that much but things are just kind of piling up in a really intimidating way and I got a beej from a girl in Hill but she won't ACKNOWLEDGE me in the halls now and I'm just confused about what she wants us to be you know? I've never had so much work due. What I'd like to do is to have a complete draft of the proposal so I can get that out of the way but my drunk roommate might be freebasing again and I can't tell if I was supposed to LIKE it last week when he jerked me off in his sleep and I was still PARANOID HIGH from the first joint I had ever smoked the week before and I just HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON! Everything is so new here and there are so many people and it just isn't like Topeka at all and these kids from New York are everywhere and I tripped the other day and I fell flat on my face and no one helped me up and a man dressed as a turkey handing out flyers on the walk laughed and laughed and I looked at my reflection in a puddle and no one would help me but I didn't want them to think I wanted their help which I really did and as I saw myself in that gross watery mess of dead leaves and condom wrappers I thought 'who am I? what have I become? WHAT AM I DOING?' And it's like, I DRINK now and is that what my mom's paying for? I mean GOD do I TELL her that I did a bump off a zebra's dick last week just before it fucked a stripper, but then she and the zebra both died because even though I kept yelling stop! Stop! Enough is enough! What is enough for you people! You don't know yourselves! What do you do this for? Who are you impressing? What does all of this mean? They just kept going and then the zebra made all of these weird noises and the stripper had been still for a while now and they both died? How would that make YOU feel on your 18th birthday? How would that make you FEEL?”

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